Mama's Coffee Break

I had company tonight. A very nice woman that I know briefly stopped by to chat after dinner. It should have been a nice evening chatting with another adult while the kids played, instead I felt awkward and nervous. Now that she's gone I feel like such an idiot, but at the time she was here I was terrified of the kids doing something embarrassing. Which of course they did, repeatedly. Some of it involving typical boy potty humor and bodily functions. Sigh.

My acquaintance is my age yet doesn't have kids, and probably never will. It's not that she's one of those people who hates all kids, she just feels it's not in her plans to have any. And that's where I get nervous. I'm a mom, despite my best intentions that role has taken over my life. I could chat for hours about diapers, bed time stories, and how to get beads out of a child's nose. But put me in a room with someone who isn't interested in comparing which park has the better swing set and I feel lost.

Oh my God, I've become one of those moms! The ones who have no life outside their kids! No, say it isn't true!

I think it's time to find something outside the house that I can do, something that doesn't involve kids in any way. That seems so odd to think about. I've been at home with the kids since they were born. First as a stay at home mom and then as a work at home mom. I wouldn't even know how to hand them to some one else for a few hours. I pace the floor when I drop them off at their father's house, and they never stay there for very long. I suppose I could take that time to try some adult interaction, though I usually use it to catch up on all the chores and work that needs to be finished. I would feel even more behind if I skipped that free time.